This didn’t *actually* happen
December 28, 2010
“So I’m going to prescribe you the pill. And I’m going to give you this booklet.”
The doctor reaches up into a cupboard and slides a booklet towards me over the table. ‘Play it safe’, it says.
“Because the pill works against unplanned pregnancies, but not against stds. And you live in Amsterdam, right?”
The doctor had previously told me he had studied in Amsterdam too, at the VU in Buitenveldert. In the booklet, I can see it from in the chair, is a condom, the way we used to get condoms in high school every several years in booklets like this one. Probably earlier print versions of this exact booklet. My point being: I know stuff. I’m nineteen.
“Yes doctor, so when I finally do get a girlfriend, I’ll be sure to use a condom and she won’t be able to knock me up!”
And I slide out of there, all purple and skinny jeans, leaving the doctor with his silly booklet in which the word ‘lesbian’ is mentioned exactly once.
-
Okay, so I’m not gay, and I didn’t say that, and I don’t mind having a condom that’s fit for use until July and apparently has ‘structure for maximum stimulation’. Which sounds kind of gross. I did however for a split second want to ask him if those booklets come with dental dams as well.
And to think I had an appointment for my persistent headaches.
